When Will the Church Recognize the Vocation of Single People?

It used to be so simple to be a single Christian. St. Paul even had this very beautiful advice in one of his letters:

“I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the affairs of the Lord, how to please the Lord; but the married man is anxious about worldly affairs, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried woman or girl is anxious about the affairs of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit; but the married woman is anxious about worldly affairs, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.” — 1 Corinthians 7:32–35, RSV-CE

The State of Being Unmarried

As a single person then, one only needs to remain unmarried. There is no need to take a vow or to join a religious order. There is no need to be recognized as a consecrated virgin. One only needs to be a good Christian and to remain unmarried and one has already chosen to live a holy life worthy of one’s call.

Today, however, many Christian (and Catholic) singles remain perplexed. They can find themselves not belonging anywhere. The “single life” had become a “cross” or a mere “state of life” one must endure before being “called” to marriage or the religious life.

But what about for those who were not able to make a vow in marriage or in a religious order? What does that make of us? Are we the kind of Christians who have failed or even refused to listen to our calling? Have we missed our true vocation? What then is our purpose in life?

We do our very best to be good Christians. We serve God, the Church, our loved ones and our neighbors. We support religious people and even those who have been blessed to be married. But despite it all, we could never “claim” to have been called to this way of life.

Why not?

In Search for a Vocation

In the Catechism of the Catholic Church, we can read the part about the vocation of the laity:

The vocation of lay people

898 “By reason of their special vocation it belongs to the laity to seek the kingdom of God by engaging in temporal affairs and directing them according to God’s will…. It pertains to them in a special way so to illuminate and order all temporal things with which they are closely associated that these may always be effected and grow according to Christ and maybe to the glory of the Creator and Redeemer.”
…
899 “Lay believers are in the front line of Church life; for them the Church is the animating principle of human society. Therefore, they in particular ought to have an ever-clearer consciousness not only of belonging to the Church, but of being the Church…They are the Church.

Are we not part of the laity? Have we not been called the moment we have been baptized? The Catechism continues:

901 “Hence the laity, dedicated as they are to Christ and anointed by the Holy Spirit, are marvellously called and prepared so that even richer fruits of the Spirit maybe produced in them.
…
913 “Thus, every person, through these gifts given to him, is at once the witness and the living instrument of the mission of the Church itself ‘according to the measure of Christ’s bestowal.”‘

The Sacramental Vocations

It breaks my heart whenever I read documents quickly disregarding the call of single people. In a theoretical, technical, legalistic and very cold way of saying it, single people are excluded from having a vocation or call without explaining to them their vocation as part of the laity and of the Church.

It is true that in marriage and in making a holy vow, people are “called” to a life of love and commitment to another.

But is the single Christian life meant to be a life away from God or without God’s love? Is it a life that should not be dedicated to serving God and one’s neighbor?

“Therefore in the Church, everyone whether belonging to the hierarchy, or being cared for by it, is called to holiness…” — Lumen Gentium V

“Love is the fundamental and innate vocation of every human being” – St. John Paul II (Familiaris Consortio, 11)

Being single does not mean that one should be alone and disconnected from everyone. It can be a holy life filled with love, committed to serving others.

Final Thoughts on the Single Life

The state of being single, though ordinary and without the status of a sacramental vocation could nevertheless be blessed, moved with a Godly purpose and a witness to the world we’re living in today.

We need more support for single people to enable them to fulfill this role and to recognize that they too are being called by God. They too have a unique role in His kingdom. And they too, within their single state of life have a vocation to fulfill.

“He heals the brokenhearted,
and binds up their wounds.
He determines the number of the stars;
he gives to all of them their names.”
– Psalm 147:3-4 (NRSVCE)

You may also want to read “Is Being Single Not Good Enough For Heaven?”

Jocelyn Soriano is the author of To Love an Invisible God, Defending My Catholic Faith and Mend My Broken Heart.

She writes about the single life and her Catholic faith at Single Catholic Writer. She is currently single and happy and she would like everyone to know how happy we can be by drawing close to the love of God!