It’s time to make a confession. I was never a big fan of poetry. In fact, I hardly liked what I wrote for a long time. It’s been a challenge to change this because I’ve always been more interested in folklore and legends than verses. I liked some of them, but others were worse than a foreign language. It wasn’t until recently that I’ve devoted serious time and effort into understanding it and getting better at it.
Some may wonder, with fair curiosity, why claim a title that also implied I was a poet? Because I wanted to change, I wanted to do better, to aim for better, and while it’s try that I’m far from being a great poet, I’m closer than before. I don’t know if I’m good at it, but it’s a step in the right direction to enjoy poetry.
One of the biggest factors, I have to say, was that I could only find Rumi’s books when I asked for Arabic poetry. I love Rumi, I love his work, I will read it again, but I’ve read a lot, and contrary to fiction poetry is harder for me. It’s a challenge, and I want something different, that’s why I got back to Edgar Allan Poe and have been thinking about Sylvia Plath.
I’ve read different poets so far, different sources of inspiration, and have identified the topics and styles that work the best for me. There are some that I like better than others, and a few that could also enjoy even though it took me more effort to appreciate them. I won’t mention which because, first, it would mean letting you know who I am, and second, because they’re not Arabic. However, I have a better direction regarding poetry.
As I worked on my mental health, I also dwelled on feelings of pain, hurt, regret, shame, pity, sadness, and death. I identified parts of me I thought were healed, and it wasn’t the case. It wasn’t opening old wounds, but recognizing those I left unattended, festering as I played pretend. There’s a lot of that. Lots of pain, lots of tears. However, poetry has been a refuge for me.
When I started thinking “what’s the difference between poetry and narrative?” I didn’t understand that they’re basically the same, they both can tell stories, they both can show emotions, feelings, thoughts, and spirituality. Both are forms of art. Poetry, however, offers a bigger freedom, a form of liberty and flexibility that narrative doesn’t allow. And still, with narrative you can create an atmosphere in seconds.
I believe that any writer’s worth lies in their ability to blend both forms, whether one’s the main one and the other a complement, but both need to be present in order to have a style. After burying myself in non-fiction, analysis, and theory, I’m slowly getting back into practice, emotions, and my heart. It is a slow, painful, uncomfortable process, but it’s giving results.
I won’t share much at this point. It’s still a work in progress, this change, and I want to develop a definite style and voice as Bader. While far from imitating the Arabic poets of centuries ago, I want people to recognize traces of their work and style. I’ve also decided to mark a line between Arabic and Persian poetry. While I want to favor Syrian poets, I’m starving for the Arabic world in general.
It’s not in my plans to write a book of poems as Bader, or at least not right now. I’m enjoying this exploration, what I’m discovering about myself, the faces I didn’t know I had, and want to encourage you to do the same. Poetry is not for everyone, just like construction, or cooking, or fashion, or physics, are not for everyone. However, if there’s a part of yourself you’ve neglected or haven’t paid a lot of attention to, why not give it a try again, after all this time?
It might surprise you
it might transform you
you’ll only know
if you open that door
and
dare to wonder
another world
another words.
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