Are you ready for a change? People say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting things to change. Does that describe some aspect of your life at the moment? If you’ve been through a divorce, it’s easy to feel stuck, especially at this time of the year. All the parties and celebrations are over. The days are shorter, people aren’t outside much. If you’re coming home to a cold, empty house, you may be susceptible... Read more
“Come die with me…” Those words might sound a bit scary, but a dear friend, Kate, heard this in her heart years ago. She and her husband were moving their family to a new location and she was reluctant. But, she knew those words were a whisper from God, gently calling her to accept this new chapter in life. Come die with me. What exactly was God asking? In retrospect, Kate now saw what she couldn’t see at that time. Although... Read more
People like to joke about hibernating during the holidays to avoid everything that goes along with them. “I’d rather just go to bed and not wake up until January 2nd,” I’ve heard many people say, and I think I probably said it, myself, during my post divorce years. When you’re trying to avoid painful reminders and encounters, it’s kind of hard not to feel this way. But the problem with this sentiment is that by avoiding the preparations and celebrations... Read more
I remember driving home from work several years after my divorce dreading the thought of walking into my cold, dark apartment. There would be no one to greet me, no one to hug me and ask how my day was. There was no one to cook for, and I usually didn’t eat dinner. I would just sit down with a glass of wine and look for a good movie to watch. I was terribly lonely and depressed. Times like these can be dangerous... Read more
The desire for love is a yearning that was put in our hearts by God, himself. It’s not simply an itch to be scratched or a need to be met. Love is our calling, our purpose in life. We have been created to love. And the transformation Father Loya hopes to bring about is the epiphany that occurs when a person comes to the realization of the gift that person is to everyone else; family, friends and all of society. Read more
A friend of mine recently found herself in a terrible situation that was so urgent, she had to swallow her pride and reach out for help. She had to break down and spill the beans about how she landed in that awful place… and there were a lot of beans to be spilled. No one likes to be in that position but most, if not all of us, have been there at one time or another. In explaining her situation... Read more
Well, this is the week. Thanksgiving is in a few short days with the month of December and all it’s preparation for Christmas right behind, and you just might be finding yourself already in an emotional tug of war… Thoughts of the office parties, family gatherings and other celebrations can leave you feeling lonely, angry, depressed and discouraged. But for now, this is the week you’ve got to show up with a smile on your face and try to enjoy... Read more
Hey! Shhhhh. Can you hear that? It’s the sound of family arriving, clinking glasses, children’s laughter, and cheerful music. It’s the sound of the holidays. Most people love this sound, but if you’ve experienced a great loss in your life, especially divorce, this sound can often bring with it a sense of dread. It’s easy to feel lonely in the celebratory crowd and difficult to keep a sincere smile on your face if you’re divorced during the holidays. When I look... Read more
One of the most important aspects of healing after divorce is something many people don’t even recognize as necessary; the act of detachment, or letting go. This aspect might seem very much like forgiveness, but there is an important distinction. Forgiveness is a moral decision, while detachment is more of a practical decision. It requires taking action. Many of the saints practiced detachment through having a preference of embracing only those things that were God’s will and letting go of... Read more
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