This Is What It Means to be Held

Last night my sister sent me a “trigger warning” text asking for any Bible scriptures or quotes to help a friend find peace who recently had another miscarriage. The friend is a faith-filled, Christian woman seeking solace through Christ.

While I’ve definitely had experience, words seem so inadequate. Like so many other women, the grief of miscarriage I experienced was just one of the griefs I bore. How do you adequately categorize what brought peace to one thing when you’re a whole jumble of grief and heartache? I knew I’d found peace in the doctrines of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ, specifically in the temples of God, but it’s hard to convey that to someone unfamiliar with the temple.

I didn’t respond.

This morning, my sister’s request came to mind again, so I leaned against the bathroom counter and went back there, to that very painful time of my life. What meaningful scriptures could I share?

Jeremiah, Isaiah, Daniel, and Jonah’s words filled my mind. I remembered when “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil to give you an expected end…” and words of other ancient prophets sang to my soul while I struggled to feel His light.

“Come unto me,” He beckoned. “I will give you rest.” I’d wondered if that was really possible.

One day in 2005, while driving my truck southbound on University Avenue in Lubbock, Texas, I heard a brand new song for the first time. I didn’t know what it was called or who sang it, but by the time she finished the chorus, I felt seen and understood. And I cried and cried and cried.

This is what it means to be heldHow it feels when the sacred is torn from your lifeAnd you surviveThis is what it is to be lovedAnd to know that the promise wasWhen everything fell, we’d be held

Natalie Grant’s “Held” thundered into my sorrow and loss. It reminded me to believe in the promise that “when everything fell, we’d be held.” When I cried to the Lord, I cried with hope in that promise.

“Jesus wept” with Mary and Martha. And He wept with me.

Finally, I believed Elisabeth’s words. “Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill His promises to her” (Luke 1:45.)

I trusted the Lord in my most vulnerable and sorrowful moments, searching for His light in my darkness.

And it came to pass that the Lord did visit them with his Spirit, and said unto them: Be comforted. And they were comforted.

Me! I was comforted! I still don’t know how it works, but I know that as I cried to Jesus for His healing, atoning grace to bind my wounds, He has.

“This is what it means to be held.”

Held

Two months is too littleThey let him goThey had no sudden healingTo think that providence wouldTake a child from his mother while she praysIs appalling

Who told us we’d be rescued?What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares?We’re asking why this happens to us who have died to liveIt’s unfair

This is what it means to be heldHow it feels when the sacred is torn from your lifeAnd you surviveThis is what it is to be lovedAnd to know that the promise wasWhen everything fell, we’d be held

This hand is bitternessWe wanna taste it, let the hatred numb our sorrowThe wise hand opens slowly to lilies of the valley and tomorrow

This is what it means to be heldHow it feels when the sacred is torn from your lifeAnd you surviveThis is what it is to be lovedAnd to know that the promise wasWhen everything fell, we’d be held

If hope is born of sufferingIf this is only the beginningCan we not wait for one hour watching for our Savior?

This is what it means to be heldHow it feels when the sacred is torn from your lifeAnd you surviveThis is what it is to be lovedAnd to know that the promise wasWhen everything fell, we’d be heldYeah, ooh be held, oh