This holiday season has turned out to be more special than I expected. Once upon a time (pre-Covid), I was always thrilled with everything to do with Christmas, Yule, Winter Solstice and the New Year. While the season was cold it’s always felt like everyone’s spirit warmed up and felt more open and kinder. I would put up multiple trees and decorate from one end of the house to the other. My husband and I would rejoice in the season by buying more and more decorations. We would host three parties with different themes, one for business associates at Christmas, one for friends for Yule, and a third gathering for close family. Our children were young and were also excited to have presents and feasting, Christmas lights and celebrations.
I didn’t have any expectations about this coming holiday season. My mind was occupied with my tiny microcosm of egoic concerns about work, family, relationships and health. My mother decided that she felt up to coming to my house for our Clan celebration. Of course, I was more than happy to host the event, yet I just couldn’t get my enthusiasm to show up for the occasion.
Yesterday, as I cleaned and decorated the house, I realized we need to use my silver collection for serving and I hadn’t polished the pieces for probably 5 years. We hadn’t had a party at my home worthy of getting out the “good china” since before my father’s death. Once Daddy’s health began to fail it was not possible for them to travel so it was necessary that all gatherings be at their house or my sister’s home who lived just across the street.
I walked solemnly from the parlor, through the front entryway, and into the dining room. The entire area is rarely used unless we are entertaining. The silver-plated serving pieces sat on the shelves under the sideboard and were now mostly black with strange bluish bruises here and there. It’s amazing to me how oxidation can change the look of these pieces so drastically.
As I began bringing the pieces into the kitchen I wondered if they had been left unattended for so long that the darkened surface would become permanent. Silver plate is fragile, it’s only able to be polished so many times before the silver plating is completely worn off the underlying metal. Polishing silver takes time and patience. It’s a transformative experience that seemed particularly relevant to Mother’s Night of the Winter Solstice.
Traditions of the Past
My grandmother and mother both loved fine china and had several collections. Back in the day, paper plates were not the trend for family gatherings; and with large families, many sets of dishes were useful. Receiving a set of fine china or silver serving dishes were a traditional wedding gift and I was the recipient of several sets and silver pieces upon my nuptials. I handled each piece of silver, ruminating on where and how each piece had been acquired. Very few pieces were purchased new and almost everything had been purchased from auctions or estate sales just like everything in our home. Even our dining room furniture was second-hand to me. But in reality, my husband had bought it as a gift for his first wife and then bought it from her when she decided she didn’t want it anymore. Every piece has a unique story. I thought about the many blissful trips to other states and cities with my husband, children or sisters and the auction houses and second-hand stores where each prize was discovered.
Gently rubbing off the oxidation from the silver plate is a process of patience, it’s unwise to put them all in the sink together as unintended dents or scratches can occur. While it’s a chore, polishing can be an enjoyable moment to be present as you enjoy the warm, soapy foam and reap the rewards of slowly uncovering a glorious, mirror finish that hides under the blackened surface. Although each piece retains its own uniquely designed flourishes and engravings, the items look burned and bruised. Some show obvious finish differences where a blue-green oval unexpectedly blooms on the surface as if some unknown trauma has occurred. Scrubbing the surface is too intense an action and will only shorten the life of the silver. Make multiple passes and gently work into the crevices and around the folds in the artwork to reveal its shine. I often only polish the tips of deep carving, leaving the deep oxidation to create a contrast that reveals more detail and character in the silverwork.
Are you gentle when you are working on Self Improvement?
I’m sure you can easily see where I’m going with this analogy, each of us is a beautiful silver vessel having been wrought by as many trials as victories. Covered in bruising, scratches, and scars as well as carved intricate ornamentation etched with filigree. As we go through our life experiences, we vacillate between being polished or tarnishing. The main point here is that there must be a balance between the ends of the spectrum, and you are the connoisseur of how you want to display your authentic self, but you also should do so with care and gentility. Treat your multilayers of base metal, silver, and tarnish with respect as they each have purpose and contribute to the overall beauty and appreciation. Be aware that violent or careless handling can leave marks that are expensive and time-consuming to repair.
It’s recommended to store silver in specially made bags that will protect its finish and reduce oxidation. I personally leave my silver out on display and clean it up at the last minute before use. This tends to expose it to environmental changes which of course causes more oxidation. Thus, silver will likely wear thin as we continue to use it at parties and gatherings.
Letting Go of Traditional Expectations
As I polished the silver this year, I sadly realized my children will not be inclined to care for these pieces as the tradition of loved and opulent antiques is not only not of interest to upcoming generations but is somewhat seen as a tasteless display of wealth. While these pieces were all acquired cheaply and are actually only silver-plated, they are really only valuable in a temporary aesthetic sense just the same as a fresh-flower centerpiece. These pieces have traveled from some unknown family to me to grace my dining room with their reflection of the sparkle of light and crystal. At some point in the future, they will enter back into a transitory state waiting to be reincarnated into another life. Perhaps some pieces will decorate the dining room hutches of a historic house museum or will sit on the sideboard of an elegant fairy cottage.
Wherever they travel, there will be hands that will polish them. Hands that will be open to feeling the care I placed upon them as I feel the care and gratitude for their artistry and craftsmanship that was given them by those that created them and cherished them as generational keepsakes in times past.
Did that last part confuse you as to its analogy of life? Let me illustrate it a bit as it can be hard to see the potential beneath a tarnished surface. First, let us consider that this shift is not only a trend of home décor but a statement of our society. It can be sad as we see the old ways become cataloged, but there is always the potential for discovery in these moments. While the look of a tableful of cold silver may no longer be in vogue, the new trends embrace easy affordable, comfort, and an open, eclectic style. While my collection of silver was somewhat diverse, the new trends carry it into EVERY piece of flatware and dish. Everything can be mismatched and yet still create a unison of colors and patterns that is an even more celebratory experience.
Secondly, the trend to shy away from showcasing materialism is not a bad movement. Fashionistas showcasing extraordinary wealth from luxury cars, incredibly expensive Louie Vuitton purses and Louboutin shoes, and insanely huge homes will get thousands of views on social media, “Keeping up with the Joneses” was certainly a trend that needed to die. However, to play devil’s advocate one shouldn’t be ashamed of being attracted to quality craftsmanship and artistry or the high cost of handmade items. You are paying for the years of experience and skill, not just the item.
I was recently asked how my spiritual practices affect my life. Perhaps my analogy is trite but it’s just one example of how beauty, spirituality and inspiration can be found in the mundane chore of washing dishes. We are constantly surrounded by experiences that with a little attention, will open themselves like the petals of a lotus, displaying an infinity of layers of comfort and instruction.
If you want more information about daily spiritual practices you can check out my article about that here.
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