Our research found that when a couple has friction over money, it’s not about the money. The tension feels like it is about the dollars and cents but is actually about other factors under the surface –like how money makes us feel, our insecurities and fears, and how we process decisions. Read more
If your leaders know there is an interest in discussing sexual intimacy from a biblical standpoint, they may be more open to wading into this area at a Friday night couples’ event, addressing it in married couples’ small groups (see the bullet points at the end for one idea), creating support groups, or teaching on intimacy during the worship service. The key is: your idea has to be as specific as possible. Read more
Thirty years ago, the church just didn’t talk about sex. The brave pastors who tackled sexual intimacy or Christian sexual ethics knew they might be confronted by embarrassed or angry people after the service. Unsurprisingly, many pastors simply stayed away from the topic! Some still do. Read more
For those who newly have hope – reach out for support, especially through your church. This is one reason I’m passionate about every church having some form of regular encouragement for marriages, rather than just an ad hoc, case-by-case situation (which often primarily means referrals to counselors when someone is in trouble). Thankfully, the church where I met the woman I mentioned already had a marriage ministry she could plug into. If your church doesn’t have a marriage ministry, and you are someone who cares about marriage … offer to help the church start one! Imagine what a difference it would make for a newly hopeful couple to be able to connect with other couples who are ahead of them on the journey – for example in small groups, a marriage mentor ministry, or a Sunday school class. Read more
The time is now to help our kids understand their emotions and for us to be able to openly talk to them about their feelings, fears, and anxieties. And when they become well-versed in understanding their emotions, studies are finding there are long term benefits for them such as having better mental health, stress management skills, conflict resolution skills, more responsibility, and resiliency. Read more
being the parent rather than the friend doesn’t mean swinging the pendulum of rules enforcement back to a pattern that was more appropriate for early childhood! In a few months or a few years, your teenager will be flying on their own – so now is when they should both be able to earn and experiment with the freedoms they are pushing for and know that a parent is looking over their shoulder to see how they are handling those freedoms. Read more
This is a two-part blog to encourage and equip parents of teenagers. In this part 1, we share an encouraging big-picture truth. In part 2 we share strategies to help you implement it. Pass this along to a parent who needs it! As a mom who has been launching young-adult kids into the college and career phases of life, I was delighted recently when my daughter wanted help shopping for clothes for her first “real” job. As she walked up... Read more
Conflict over sexual desire is often really difficult for couples to work through, especially since many don’t have the critical tools they need. Since you must understand each other to make progress, the most important tool is good communication. Read more
The gathering of hundreds of Christians at Harvard last weekend is only part of what God is doing in our world – just one visible and amazing example of His hand at work. Over and over again, unplanned, Isaiah 43:19 was referenced: “See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” Read more
Many couples focus on concepts like “compatibility” when considering whether to tie the knot with their significant other. Are we compatible in temperament? In conflict management styles? In sexual interest? There’s nothing wrong with digging into all of that – as noted in Part 2, we should dig into all those questions and many others! But we also have to realize that “Are we compatible?” is often just another way of saying, “Is this person going to make me happy?” Read more
Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In