Christianity’s P.R. Problem–Part 1

Many folks today say that Christianity has a P.R. problem. Like it or not, they have a point.

Whether the P.R. problem comes from people outside the church speaking from ignorance, or denominations within the church at each other’s throats over doctrinal issues and such, anyone disposed to do so can find something about the church with which to take issue. 

Why bother with that drama?

No, dear readers, instead of blathering on about the P.R. problem, I am here to propose some PR solutions, though not perhaps in the way you are thinking. 

The Church’s image problem is best addressed from the top down.  Just as the head directs the body, the heads of churches set the tone for their congregations. 

Likewise, as the heads of their families, fathers set the tone for their wives and children.   When the leaders of both churches and Christian families have their houses in order, the world cannot help but notice.  It is my position that the most effective way to fix the church’s P.R. problem is by living out these “PR” solutions.

(I am going to be speaking primarily to the men here, since I am one.  Ladies, especially single moms, feel free to listen in too though, as I expect you’ll find something useful here as well.)

PRIORITIES

Guys, your main thing is keeping your main thing the main thing.  Too many of us men have lives that are out of balance.  We have so many responsibilities that sometimes our priorities get confused.

Here is a straightforward way that I have found to keep my priorities in their proper order.  When you find yourself overwhelmed, overbooked, or overcommitted, this is an effective way to sort out your to-do list, whether you actually have a list or just keep one in your head. 

I call this the Hierarchy of Service Priority (mostly because I couldn’t think of anything else to call it–please feel free to come up with a better name for it if you like).  It goes like this:

1.       God
2.       Spouse
3.       Kids
4.       Extended Family
5.       The World (friends, acquaintances, and everybody else)
6.       Yourself

The point of this hierarchy is to keep in mind that if you are spending energy serving someone on this list without having first given priority to everyone else ABOVE that level, then that is a good sign that you are out of balance.  For each level of PRiority on the list, I have a PRactical solution to help you remember.

PRAISE AND PRAYER

God must come first because He is first.  When you put God first in your life, you are not doing Him a favor; you are doing yourself one.  As Jesus said in the Sermon on the Mount:

So, what is the best way to keep God on top of the list?  Well, the obvious answer is to pray.  But how?

The P.R. Problem of PRayer

Too often, our prayers sound like we are making God into our own personal vending machine.  We need or want something, so we push our prayer button and expect that we will receive an immediate answer to our prayers, all wrapped up like a candy bar. 

Since we wouldn’t be asking God for something if we didn’t believe he was capable, and willing, to provide it, why not start our prayer by praising Him for being that kind of a God? 

If we need His help, He is obviously greater than we are.  Starting our prayer time by meditating on just how much greater He is puts us in an appropriate posture for prayer.

Of course, once we’re there, standing in the glory of His greatness, we realize how unworthy we are.  This is a good opportunity for confession. 

You can’t help but call to mind where you’ve missed the mark when you have entered the presence of the Most Holy One.  But that’s just it.  Even though we have missed the mark, and will do so again, He still welcomes us into His presence. 

Once we begin thanking Him just for paying attention to us at all, we become more aware of all the ways, great and small, that He is acting in our lives.  Thank Him for all those things because He didn’t have to do any of them. 

I have found that the Joy of the Lord comes to me in the course of my thanksgiving.  As David wrote:

“The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped.  My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.” (Psalm 28:7 NIV)

It is through this strength that we finally get around to presenting our requests to the Lord.  Because now, instead of feeling confused, helpless, and needy, we are renewed and refueled. 

PROTECT

Men, short of your relationship with God, protecting your marriage is the most important thing in your life.  If you disagree with that statement, stop right now, and make a list of everything you can think of that’s more important. I’ll wait.

OK, now take that list to your wife and say, “Honey, I love you, but I love these things more.”  Then read the list to her. 

(What?  That’s a bad idea?  I agree.  Read on.)

The P.R. Problem of Marriage

The reason marriage is so important is that a marriage is the closest that a man and a woman ever come on this earth to being like God.  God is one, yet exists in three distinct persons: the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.  Each personality in this Holy Trinity is unique, distinct, and has His own function, yet they are one, completely unified in purpose.

Likewise, in a Christian marriage, the man and woman remain a man and woman, with their distinct personalities and functions, yet they no longer serve themselves, but each other.  With their shared faith as the bond that holds the marriage together, the trinity of husband, wife and Holy Spirit echoes the unity of the Holy Trinity.

Also, as the Holy Trinity is responsible for the creation of all life, the trinity of husband, wife, and Holy Spirit bring forth new life with the birth of their children. 

This is the closest we will ever come to appropriating the creative power of God.  As such, this is why both life and the marriage through which it is created are sacred.

The primary role for a husband toward his wife is that of Protector.  That notion frequently rubs the womenfolk the wrong way these days, as our culture supports the notion of independent women who “don’t need no man.” 

Nevertheless, every strong independent woman started out as a frightened little girl, looking to her daddy for protection.  When a father makes clear to his daughter that he is there to protect her and take care of her, she grows up secure and confident (I’ll come back to this later).

The main purpose of the husband is to take over the protective role of the father when the woman no longer has need of it.  This is the meaning behind the father giving the bride away at a wedding.  He is saying, “It’s your turn now.  Take care of my daughter.”

The protective role is now different, however.  Rather, a husband is charged with protecting his wife’s heart.  She has put her trust in him to love her, to be faithful to her, to lead her and to lift her up in her time of need. 

Men, there is no job we have that is more important than this.  We need to make PRotection our PRiority.

PROVIDE

Generally, the first thing that comes to our minds when we think of PRoviding for our families is our jobs.  But there is so much more to PRoviding than bringing home a paycheck. 

Children are more concerned with being loved and led than whether the bills are getting paid.  The family’s finances aren’t their concern, so they don’t think about it. 

What children need to know is that their dad is in control.  They need to know he’s the Man with the Plan and he cares for them deeply. 

Let me be clear on what I mean by “in control.”  This does not mean, “controlling.”  How do you know when you’ve crossed the line?  If you have to tell your children that you’re in charge, that’s a rather clear indicator that you aren’t.

Dads, if you want your sons to grow into men of character, your first PRiority as fathers is to show them what that looks like. 

Be a man of integrity. 

Say what you mean, mean what you say and do what you say you are going to do.  Do not be wishy-washy with your sons, or they will not have confidence in your promises.  Do not be lax with your discipline, or they will think they can get away with anything.  And most importantly, FOLLOW THROUGH with whatever you say you are going to do. 

One of the most vital things that we must do as fathers is to throw off EVERYTHING that hinders us from following through on our words.  Children are experts at making it look like they are ignoring us, but they are always watching.  Not only are they more likely to do what you do rather than what you say, but they are more likely still to NOT do what you DON’T do. 

But it’s not all about discipline, of course.  Children do need to be led, but they also want to be loved.  This is especially true for the girls.

Face it dad, your little princess is going to grow up someday.  Chances are she’s going to look for somebody just like you to marry.  So, ask yourself—are you the kind of guy you want your daughter to bring home? 

If that doesn’t get your attention, how about this?  There are few things in this life a daughter wants more than her daddy’s approval.  If she gets that, she will grow up secure and confident, knowing that she can be loved for who she is.  If she doesn’t, she will do whatever she can to create an artificial feeling of being loved.  (Guys, if you’re not catching my drift, I’ve got two words for you: back seat.)

Finally, as the spiritual leaders of our home, the most important thing we can PRovide for our children is knowledge of our faith.  Dads, if children aren’t learning about God, the Bible or the Christian life from you, there’s a good chance they’re not learning it at all. 

Fathers, the integrity of your children depends on what you PRovide and how you PRovide it.

(For more PR solutions to our P.R. problem, come back for Part 2!)